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Kowabunga! It’s the big one, sofa surfers! Teaserama is a tidal wave of talent featuring burley’s hottest stars, along with America’s pin-up sweetheart, the legendary BETTIE PAGE (as a “page” girl, of course) in this Beautiful Production from IRVING KLAW (and the followup to the previous year’s Page Klaw collaboration, Varietease). Why, it’s practically the Holy Grail of Girlie Flicks!

Perhaps the most famous model of the ’50s (who also shocked the world with her eye-popping bondage shots), Miss Page warms up the boards with a stylized jaunty jiggle — in a scanty red costume with heels — that showcases her hour-glass figure, delightful smile, and timeless appeal. (She also intros each act in progressively skimpy costumes.)

Then that “hurricane of delight,” top-billed superstar stripper TEMPEST STORM, scorches the percales in a boudoir bit that even has that saucy scene-stealing Bettie as her catty, black-clad, bodice-buckling au pair. And, man, oh man, it’s Fetish Central!

If your TV hasn’t already exploded, they’re followed by leggy CHRIS LA CHRIS and TWINNIE WALLENS, whose pretzel-like contortions and legmania puts the Rockettes to shame! The dancing duo of PEPE & ROCCIO stir up some chili-choking action, while recurring appearances by comics DAVID STARR and JOE E. (“Ooh, ooh”) ROSS (of TV’s Sgt. Bilko and Car 54 Where Are You? fame!) create guffaws along the way.

After another Tempest flurry, a bodacious, busty beauty sweats this oldie. (How about a placard for her, Bettie? I think it’s HONEY BAER.) Next up is femme impersonator VICKIE LYNN whose Olive Oyl figure and hard puss begs (please!) our next stripteuse, CHERRIE KNIGHT, whose cantilever matches Tempest’s bra-bustin’ 44s! (And geologists say only volcanic eruptions can make mountains!)

You also get a slow, sultry strip courtesy of TRUDY WAYNE, plus a wrap with Miss Page again! Oh, Bettie, we hardly knew ye…